Organic doughnuts anyone? Part 1

It's Illustrious, hypnotic, and seductive. The number one fantasy in America, above money and sex and Gucci.

Superstars live on it. The government hordes it. Lil Wayne and Young Jeezy pretty much own it.

We all want it, all the time. Walking down the hallway at school, or in the office. At home on the couch. In the shower, in the car, on the dance floor, or in the mall. We're in tune enough to know when someone gives it to us, but when we need it, we'll just take it. We feel superior, hot, fresh, and cool when we have it. A pompous freshman gets a nod from a blonde bombshell senior, and just like that, he's king for a moment.

The enchantment of Power helps us feel vital, energized and attractive. Like a drug, but better. And more addicting.

We each source power & energy in a number of ways and from tons of sources. We've been conditioned since birth to take it from our parents, then our siblings, then our friends, teachers, neighbors and eventually strangers. Basically, we steal it.

Not so fast, you're no Mother Teresa. We've all been this guy. Walking through a checkout line, the checker is slow finishing with the customer in front of you. You're in a hurry, it's the holidays after all and you have shit to do! C'mon, move it fatty, you think. By the time you get your chance to pay, you've got the evil eyes out on the moron Macy's employee who obviously eats at McDonalds on a daily. She WILL feel your wrath. You wait for the moment when her eyes meet yours, and then, you pounce! and take what little dignity she has left. She's polite, and you're rude. Nevermind the insignificance of it all. You walk away feeling pissed, but a little better than just moments before, having taken the teeny bit of good spirit she'd managed to keep, until you showed up. She feels worse, empty, ugly, and even powerless. Later that day, she supersizes her order to compensate for an emptiness that you played a roll in. Consequently, you get home, and the roles reverse when youre boyfriend is in his own cat-like moment. No matter tho, you'll get it back from the busdriver tomorrow.

We take it. From eachother. And it's ludicrous that we are taught how to do it side by side the commandments and church and thall shall nots. It's as oxymoronic as organic doughnuts.

Even more absurd is that the knowledge of this power remains oblivious to most. What we seek is totally available and guilt free, in copious amounts, like the air we breath everyday. Call it what you want, I call it chi.. short for chillin.

The good news is that it's accessible and still legal. It usually takes practice to develop the sensory. Like riding a bike or kissing well, it doesn't come on the first try. Unless you are the fortunate 5 year old vegetarian yogi, it takes some dedication and committment to get 'good' at accessing it. Why do you think amazing dancers are so attractive? They are filled with this stuff. They are honing it, and make it visible for you to see... something we poppers call riding the beat- natural, effortless.. chillin.

By merely being interested in the subject, you'll draw it to you. So, seek it out, if you wish, or don't be too alarmed when your roommate tries to drag you to yoga next week...

Learning to access it is different than learning to keep from giving it away or taking it from others. That be part 2 and 3. Peace ya'll, -C

Seattle Shatters Dream

How fitting. Today I finally leave Seattle. I've been here 6 weeks longer than I intended. I came to Seattle from Salt Lake City in search of a truer definition of myself. In tote were simple belongings and a wide open heart. That yearned for more. Purpose. Feeling. Fire.

I'm an amateur dancer who lived the past 9 years in search of her dream. Only to discover, that is what it had remained, a dream. I often hid it from people, thinking they wouldn't understand it, let alone approve. It was my little friend who was always turning the corner in front of me, staying just out of sight. I often cursed her, ignored her for months and years at a time. Distracted myself with a boyfriend, a sibling, a problem of some sort. Any sort. I yelled at her, gave her the finger... who the hell was she to snub me. All I wanted was to be apart of her. And sometime years later in Seattle, it clicked.

It all clicked. Dominos in my chest. I woke the fuck up, the light bulb shattered. My pretty friend had stopped in the middle of the park we always cut across on Pine St., and turned to me. Bright eyed under the stadium lights, she winked, and disappeared. I walked to my car alone, knowing she wouldn't be back. It was frightening. What was I to do without my dream. She was the only one who really knew me. I was defined by my chase of her.

Late I arrived. The house was dark and rain took safety with me indoors. I braced myself at the bathroom sink. And questioned authority as I always do. But this time, I was the authorizer. I saw two greener than usual eyes peering back at me through soaked hair. The mirror wasn't lying. This girl.. this dream.. she was just that. A dream. Nothing more. Not a goal, not a commitment, or a declaration. She was just a dream. And she was finally gone.

Without her, this dream, this future version of me.. I had the time, energy and space for my life today, now, in present tense.

It was so obvious, and stupid simple. I had been investing every bit of my creative energy into a dream, and it remained just that. With the shift of thought as complex as a caveman, I looked in the mirror and opened up to my life. The life with which I chose. The life I attracted on a daily basis with every molecule of my being.

Since that moment, I have never been happier. What I am attracting today is exactly what I want. Shattered dreams never looked so good.